It's here!!

Well it's nearly here, 26th November for us Malaysians.. Envy the US :(

Screw my mid terms, NEW MOON is wayyyyyy more important >.<

2012

I'm too lazy to even upload the poster of the movie.. All in all, a movie which will give u a spur of the moment thrill but it won't leave an impact on u - i kinda already forgot some parts XD I'm just guessing the producers got carried away with all the kick ass special effects that they totally forgot about the storyline; I was just waiting for something to blow up instead of waiting to see whether these people will actually survive. Anyhow, I watched it with my sister, dad & mom at Tropicana City Mall - bonding family time u know & wanted to check out the new mall)

Nite Out

Not gonna elaborate much but I can safely say that I went for my so called first drinking session with MOMMY :)) many might think it's weird but I had fun. No hassle on worrying about the bill or other complications. It's also good that I started it off with the person I trust the most, My beloved Mother - felt safe through out the night. Tagging along was my pro drinker uncle, Uncle John ;) and the only reason we actually drank was because of my cousin aunt, Aunty Chriz who came down from Ipoh for visiting and my amazing cousin, Grace who spent a night with me instead of her dorm @ MMU Cyberjaya. Great experience and I'm looking forward for more as I found out that my alcohol tolerance level is actually quite or rather high ;)) I am not a cheap drunk! haha settled XD we went to 3 different bars that night - Armada Hotel, Hilton PJ & Waikiki Bar PJ. Whats even more astonishing is that at 3am, we drove all the way to Petaling Street KL for a super early "breakfast" - Yeah we had our breakfast at 3am :) cheers!!

I could still do some MATHS after 4 cans of beer? Like totally XD

Broken Heart

Someday you’ll cry for me like I cried for you.

Someday you’ll miss me like I missed you.

Someday you’ll need me like I needed you.

Someday you’ll love me but I won’t love you.

Beautifully Broken

We were forced to sit together when we knew nothing of one another.

We tried to make the best of it even though it was initially uncomfortable.

Day after day, it became much easier and we could not stop talking to each other.

We realize we enjoy each other's company and wanted more of one another.

Soon we started to spend every waking moment together to get to know each other better.

We found out that we had a connection but did not know what it was at that time.

We just knew we wanted one another and kept thinking about the other person.

Life became exciting and the drive to see each other was high.

The fire inside us were burning vigorously whenever we were together.

Numerous weeks past and the connection grew deeper and unexplainable.

We hesitated at first as we were unsure of how the other person might feel.

The opportunity came and we took the risk. It paid off marvelously.

We were compatible in most ways even though we have different interest.

We filled each others needs effortlessly and satisfied each other's cravings.

We both wanted the same things and we completed one another.

We supported each other with no questions asked.

Whenever something was up, we will solve it together and that made us stronger.

The feelings grew so much that it became overwhelming but we still craved more.

Days grew into months and finally into years.

We had a love that was unexplainable.

It was something we both never encountered before.

It was never enough to just see each other everyday or talk to each other everyday.

We were madly in love but there were more than meets the eye.

People could not understand but we knew perfectly well what the other person meant to us.

We were always there for each other no matter what the circumstances were.

Uncountable bittersweet moments we have experienced together.

It did not break us at all, it only made us stronger as what we had continued to grow.

We were always in our happy place as nothing could stop us or tear us apart.

When I had to leave, we were both depressed but I knew what must be done.

You did not object but again you supported my decision.

When u started your new life, I was jealous as you were about to experience a new life.

A completely new life without my presence.

But I gave you nothing but encouragement.

Life became difficult for the both of us.

I was patient, you were patient.

I was there for you and you were there for me when I needed you.

The distance away proved that we could overcome obstacles together.

Hand in hand, we both came out victorious and were back in each other's life once again.

Nothing could stop us as our feelings were still as strong as ever.

Our feelings even grew fonder as we entered different stages of the relationship.

Distractions came along and holes started to appear but we managed to close it up.

We were bliss, satisfied and stronger than ever.

We knew that nothing could be too big or difficult for us to overcome.

We knew no one could come between us as we completed each other.

Everything was not perfect but it was in excellent shape (or so I thought)

Soon the holes started to open again as the stitches were not solid enough.

I came to you to patch back the missing pieces but you passed it out as nothing.

You assured me that there was nothing wrong and that everything was fine.

My heart stated otherwise but I believe you and thought nothing about it.

After a while things change.

First you reply my messages late.

Then you started to message me rarely.

You seldom call.

You were hesitant to spend time with me.

There was not much effort coming from you.

I was patient as I trusted you.

Our communication deteriorated but I never thought of us being that way.

It never crossed my mind for what was about to happen.

I never wanted anyone else over the course of our relationship.

I was satisfied and happy with you. I accepted what shortcomings you had.

I thought u felt the same way but boy was I wrong.

We did not communicate for a week.

All my messages went unanswered.

I was patient once again and I waited for you.

Finally I could not take it anymore.

I called to check on you.

A huge blow occurred and I got a big fat slap on my face without warning.

You said this relationship was not going to work out.

What has caused this? You did not answer.

You left things hanging and left me to dangling.

I was in the worst state ever. I needed you the most. I needed to know what happened.

I wanted to know your explanations. But you left to enjoy your new life.

Day after day, I wonder. Ponder upon what has happened to us.

You were in my head every second and every breath I took.

A week. 7 days. 168 hours. Still no contact. Have you truly forgotten about me?

I spent countless nights waiting for you. But you never came back.

The tears I shed were all because of you. But you took no notice.

I took matters into my own hands as I could no longer wait for you.

I called you and demand for a meet up. You agreed.

I waited the whole day for your invitation to the venue and time.

No answer. Again I took the initiative. You finally came. I poured my feelings on you.

Your reason for the change in attitude?

You said you lost interest in the relationship.

I was understanding. I still have some patience in me.

I wanted to know the factors that had contributed to your feelings.

You said you did not know.

I accepted it but I knew there was definitely something.

No one can lose interest in anything overnight. Something has provoked you.

I poured my soul and life onto you.

I gave you everything you asked for that was reasonable.

I gave you my heart. I trusted you with my feelings.

But in the end you broke them both.

We loved each other too much to hate each other.

We agreed to be mutual and good friends for life as we understood one another.

We must never lose someone so dear to us even if things do not work out.

Over time, I found out and realized that you have started to lose your appetite for me.

Ever since you started your new life, you have found many other apples around.

Apples who are far more interesting and beautiful I assume.

You did not want to be stuck on eating the same apple day after day.

You got bored of that particular apple. So I guess you wanted to keep me aside.

You just want to taste all the different varieties of apples there are in this world.

You realized that there are many more around who are much sweeter.

You never and will never admit this to me. But I know. I know you too well.

You maybe able to lie to everyone and even yourself.

But you cannot lie to me. So if that's the way you want it. I have no choice.

I thought I was not good enough for you.

Probably I was not sweet enough, red enough, crunchy enough or juicy enough.

I blame myself for the break up. But I know better now.

I deserve every bit of you. But you do not deserve me.

You hurt me and left me to rot. I seek help.

I obtained countless amount of support.

I found out that you are not the only one who used to care about me.

I will recover and will be whole again. I will take my time to go through this.

I am more matured and wiser now. I see the world in a new perspective.

I have no regrets being with you. I have gained and learnt much.

I hope you will have someone who will be better than me in your terms.

We will never stop being good friends. I assure you we will be even better.

I will cherish all those memories we shared together.

I will always pray for you and your happiness.

I will be here if you need me as I am who I am and I do not hold any grudges.

I do not hate you. I actually truly deeply love you so very much.

But I love you enough to let you go.

Take care and all the best.

180°

I guess I have not been updating my blog regularly enough. Once you neglect something, it will just start building up till one fine day we take the initiative to settle it. Many will know that my life has been turned upside down and I have undergone a 180° cycle in one push. It was a big slap on the face for me and I am still recovering from all the bruises. The bleeding has stopped and I am healing day after day but the scars will forever be in their places. Thank You to everyone who has helped and is still helping me overcome this emotional break down of mine. I am slowly but steadily moving forward to complete the remaining 180° which is what is left on my journey. It might take a long time but what has begun must come to an end eventually. I will be OK and I thank God for giving me the strength to face life everyday.

I do love apples.

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Guys do not want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that are not as good but easy to obtain. So the apples at the top think that something is wrong with them, when in reality they are just amazing. The just have to be patient and wait for the right guy to come along who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree to get them.

Star for a Day

haha i was in the papers ;) The Star, 3 November 2009, Star Two Page 20 =D

*let me perasan sikit & self promote kkk*